Clothed in [Im]Patience

Boy, has it been one of those days.

You know what I'm talking about.

The printer goes haywire on you. The person you thought you could depend on tells you the opposite of what you want to hear. Your friend spills cider down your leg. You forget how many projects you have due the upcoming week.

Cue Colossians 3:12-15:   "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I'm not naturally a Colossians 3 type of girl. In fact, I literally had to hole myself in my room this evening in order NOT to start throwing things at certain people in my vicinity. I wish I could tell you one by one how many times I bit my tongue and asked how someone else was doing instead of complaining; and still, I would call that Holy Spirit divine intervention, since I felt like glaring instead.

It is almost funny to think of my own life in comparison to the man who wrote Colossians. This is the same man of 2 Corinthians 6:3-10, the chapter which calls itself in the NIV "Paul's Hardships":
"We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."

Pain, sorrow, sleeplessness, trouble. Hardship and distress. YET patience, rejoicing, the knowledge of "possessing everything"?! Here I am complaining about printer ink!

Paul wasn't calling out to the church of Colosse with a snobbish sneer, telling them to put on righteousness without doing it himself. He had endured imprisonment, and was enduring it still even at the writing of the letter of Colossians, sending the letter off from a Roman prison through the hand of Epaphrus, a fellow servant in Christ. His response to the pain and frustration he endured wasn't anger or annoyance, however. It was patience. He encouraged others from his prison cell to continue the work of God. He thanked others who were succeeding in spreading the Word and prayer. He was a light despite the potential annoyance of his imprisonment.

That is definitely clothing oneself in holiness.

Moon Worship

 It was a lovely weekend to be off school and to be pursuing the outdoors (primarily why I am a week late on this post). However, it caused me to think a lot about the glory of Creation and how much beauty God has given it. 

I have always been a lover of Creation. Since I was young, I attempted to catch robins in makeshift traps with my sister (we soon figured out that using a laundry basket and seed would not grant us a robin), watching the moon through my window at night, and wandering my backyard in contemplation with menfolk on the mind. There have been times when I have adored Creation so much it felt painful to be away (indoors) at any regular basis from it. However, the more I ground myself in Christ, the more I begin to realize that all of the beauty and adoration I feel for Creation is actually tied into God himself.

Since the Israelites first bumped shoulders with heathen men, God called them to a different perspective on Creation, saying, "When you look up to the sky and see the sun, the moon and the stars--all the heavenly array--do not be enticed into bowing down to them and worshiping things the LORD your God has apportioned to all the nations under heaven" (Deut. 4:19). Our sinful intention is to turn to things that are glorious and full of wonder to idolize, but in the New Testament Paul reiterates about the sinful people vs. the holy people's reaction to what is glorious about Creation."They [wicked people] exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen" (Romans 1:25).

Our immediate reaction to the absolute knee-knocking beauty of God's creation should be a praiseworthy love and attitude towards God. Now when I go outside into Creation, I feel an overwhelming sense of wonder in God. The other day as I was visiting in a state park with a friend, the snow was gently falling around us, and despite the cold wind, I marveled at how beautiful God really was. He had created a place in this world for me to feel entirely myself and be prayerfully thankful in that moment.

Psalm 24:1 reminds us, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it". Even though today we can only visibly "see" the Creation and not the Creator, we can bring glory to him by being stunned by the world he has given us to explore. As flowers bloom anew and life is breathed into the breeze and the warmth, we turn to the sun not with worship for its rays, but with joy for the One who overshadows us with the beauty of his workmanship.

Donkeys, Diviners, and Divine Intervention

Being sick has thrown a wrench in my Sunday post plans, but it's no excuse for being two days late! Yesterday, I spent a good hour or so catching up on my personal Bible study as well.

I've reached Numbers now in my read-through of the Bible, and particularly hit on the stories of the Israelites and their eventual destruction of the Midianites. One of the main stories that stuck out to me was the oft-recited children's story of Balaam the diviner and his little faithful donkey. What we forget as adults is the surrounding story around Balaam's journey and interruption by divine authority.

Balaam had been summoned by Balak, the king of Moab, to come to Moab and curse the people of Israel, who were certain to overrun Moab and destroy it. When Balak's officials arrived to take Balaam to their king, Balaam contacted God, who on first prayer, said Balaam should remain. The second time that Balaam prayed, however, God appeared to have consented:

^"That night God came to Balaam and said, “Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you.” Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials.But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides.When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again. Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff.Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.” The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?” “No,” he said. Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown. The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.” Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.” The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam went with Balaam's officials.""(Numbers 22:20-35)

What initially confused me about this passage was that Balaam obeyed God's orders and yet, God was "angry" at Balaam for following the Moabite officials---the very thing he had told Balaam to do! When I re-read the passage, though, it appeared God had provided a cavaet in his command that Balaam had blithely (or, as the angel of God said, "recklessly") ignored: go with the officials BUT only do what I tell you. It was as if he was telling Balaam he could go, but wait for further orders. Balaam however, simply saddled his donkey and headed out, and then was so far from true communication with God he completely ignored various signals that he should stop his donkey. Only a very foolish and stubborn man would keep attempting his own way even after a donkey spoke to them to stop!

I was thinking over Balaam's stubbornness and decision to follow his own way, and it reminded me of my own life. How often do I praise God for things that have happened to me, or ask him advice in major decisions or deadlines? Hardly ever. Prayer is one of my greatest weaknesses. My communication with God suffers daily. Then, of course, I am annoyed and frustrated when an angel blocks my way to my goal, and I just whip myself into a fury attempting to continue, just like Balaam and his donkey. Yet all along God was trying to tell me, "Only do what I tell you". 

By no means do I believe in the humanistic philosophy that godly intervention frequently occurs, but if we listened more, do you think we would notice it more? Perhaps the frustration of life would be more peaceful and we'd have a reason to set forward in our decisions with more joy from God. Simply asking God is enough to acknowledge his approval is needed. 

It was strange for me to note that after Balaam's donkey incident, he did indeed predict the success of the Israelites to Balak (not the curse of them, which Balak had desired), but not long afterward, the Israelites swept in and killed the diviner. Although he had been the mouthpiece of God for a brief time, he was still an image of rebellion. Not only did he express it through the donkey story of stubbornness, he had chosen a career (sorcery) which he surely knew was against God's commands, if he had known God intimately at all. Our stubbornness to go our own way indeed shows a heart at the core that is rebellious, not humble and teachable. Our choices should be to call upon God before an angel blocks our way.