The Eyes of the Lord

First off, for the perhaps one reader in the world who has ever perused Smiley Morning, I apologize for my long delay in returning to posts. Over the summer, my life took a blessed turn of events in my engagement and marriage to a wonderful man. Since then, not only has Smiley Morning been placed aside, but my personal Bible study as well.

Which brings me to the topic of this post: my complete inability to rid myself of God.

Seems like an extreme statement to make, doesn't it? But as I was thinking of posting today, I was reminded of Psalm 139: 1-12: ^"You have searched me, Lord,and you k now me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn,  if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you."

Then you begin to realize, all these weeks and months that you have left the Lord on the back burner, he has still seen you. He's seen me having joy at my wedding, then yelling at my husband. Shivering in the cold of new frosts and dragging myself through another day from a cold. He's watched me have a bad attitude about making dinner, and then my mixed emotion of joy and confusion over petty details and major changes. Through it all, I wonder if he looks for me to come to him, and yet, I am too proud to do so.

I was watching a show called "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding" on television the other day when one of the girls, a young, flippant divorcee who had been abused as a wife, admitted with a bite in her voice, "I don't live with plans. I live in the moment." Living without the Lord makes me think that way: a momentary fixation on the things of this world, rather than eternal. How, then, should we live? Paul answers, ^"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5: 15-16)

It is strange to think that God wishes us to reflect so soberly. I glory in cupcakes, getting off work, and my husband remembering to call me beautiful! But God is looking at my life much more intently to see me not hiding from him or dodging the spiritual, but soberly becoming the woman he wants me to be. I want my life, and my Biblical womanhood, to begin again. I want to go back to the God who sees all my rising and sitting, and make it a point to learn from him. Otherwise, the passing "mist" of my life will only be for self satisfaction and complaint. 

How can we start living as if God is watching?

Clothed in [Im]Patience

Boy, has it been one of those days.

You know what I'm talking about.

The printer goes haywire on you. The person you thought you could depend on tells you the opposite of what you want to hear. Your friend spills cider down your leg. You forget how many projects you have due the upcoming week.

Cue Colossians 3:12-15:   "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I'm not naturally a Colossians 3 type of girl. In fact, I literally had to hole myself in my room this evening in order NOT to start throwing things at certain people in my vicinity. I wish I could tell you one by one how many times I bit my tongue and asked how someone else was doing instead of complaining; and still, I would call that Holy Spirit divine intervention, since I felt like glaring instead.

It is almost funny to think of my own life in comparison to the man who wrote Colossians. This is the same man of 2 Corinthians 6:3-10, the chapter which calls itself in the NIV "Paul's Hardships":
"We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."

Pain, sorrow, sleeplessness, trouble. Hardship and distress. YET patience, rejoicing, the knowledge of "possessing everything"?! Here I am complaining about printer ink!

Paul wasn't calling out to the church of Colosse with a snobbish sneer, telling them to put on righteousness without doing it himself. He had endured imprisonment, and was enduring it still even at the writing of the letter of Colossians, sending the letter off from a Roman prison through the hand of Epaphrus, a fellow servant in Christ. His response to the pain and frustration he endured wasn't anger or annoyance, however. It was patience. He encouraged others from his prison cell to continue the work of God. He thanked others who were succeeding in spreading the Word and prayer. He was a light despite the potential annoyance of his imprisonment.

That is definitely clothing oneself in holiness.

Moon Worship

 It was a lovely weekend to be off school and to be pursuing the outdoors (primarily why I am a week late on this post). However, it caused me to think a lot about the glory of Creation and how much beauty God has given it. 

I have always been a lover of Creation. Since I was young, I attempted to catch robins in makeshift traps with my sister (we soon figured out that using a laundry basket and seed would not grant us a robin), watching the moon through my window at night, and wandering my backyard in contemplation with menfolk on the mind. There have been times when I have adored Creation so much it felt painful to be away (indoors) at any regular basis from it. However, the more I ground myself in Christ, the more I begin to realize that all of the beauty and adoration I feel for Creation is actually tied into God himself.

Since the Israelites first bumped shoulders with heathen men, God called them to a different perspective on Creation, saying, "When you look up to the sky and see the sun, the moon and the stars--all the heavenly array--do not be enticed into bowing down to them and worshiping things the LORD your God has apportioned to all the nations under heaven" (Deut. 4:19). Our sinful intention is to turn to things that are glorious and full of wonder to idolize, but in the New Testament Paul reiterates about the sinful people vs. the holy people's reaction to what is glorious about Creation."They [wicked people] exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen" (Romans 1:25).

Our immediate reaction to the absolute knee-knocking beauty of God's creation should be a praiseworthy love and attitude towards God. Now when I go outside into Creation, I feel an overwhelming sense of wonder in God. The other day as I was visiting in a state park with a friend, the snow was gently falling around us, and despite the cold wind, I marveled at how beautiful God really was. He had created a place in this world for me to feel entirely myself and be prayerfully thankful in that moment.

Psalm 24:1 reminds us, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it". Even though today we can only visibly "see" the Creation and not the Creator, we can bring glory to him by being stunned by the world he has given us to explore. As flowers bloom anew and life is breathed into the breeze and the warmth, we turn to the sun not with worship for its rays, but with joy for the One who overshadows us with the beauty of his workmanship.

Donkeys, Diviners, and Divine Intervention

Being sick has thrown a wrench in my Sunday post plans, but it's no excuse for being two days late! Yesterday, I spent a good hour or so catching up on my personal Bible study as well.

I've reached Numbers now in my read-through of the Bible, and particularly hit on the stories of the Israelites and their eventual destruction of the Midianites. One of the main stories that stuck out to me was the oft-recited children's story of Balaam the diviner and his little faithful donkey. What we forget as adults is the surrounding story around Balaam's journey and interruption by divine authority.

Balaam had been summoned by Balak, the king of Moab, to come to Moab and curse the people of Israel, who were certain to overrun Moab and destroy it. When Balak's officials arrived to take Balaam to their king, Balaam contacted God, who on first prayer, said Balaam should remain. The second time that Balaam prayed, however, God appeared to have consented:

^"That night God came to Balaam and said, “Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you.” Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials.But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides.When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again. Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff.Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.” The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?” “No,” he said. Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown. The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.” Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.” The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam went with Balaam's officials.""(Numbers 22:20-35)

What initially confused me about this passage was that Balaam obeyed God's orders and yet, God was "angry" at Balaam for following the Moabite officials---the very thing he had told Balaam to do! When I re-read the passage, though, it appeared God had provided a cavaet in his command that Balaam had blithely (or, as the angel of God said, "recklessly") ignored: go with the officials BUT only do what I tell you. It was as if he was telling Balaam he could go, but wait for further orders. Balaam however, simply saddled his donkey and headed out, and then was so far from true communication with God he completely ignored various signals that he should stop his donkey. Only a very foolish and stubborn man would keep attempting his own way even after a donkey spoke to them to stop!

I was thinking over Balaam's stubbornness and decision to follow his own way, and it reminded me of my own life. How often do I praise God for things that have happened to me, or ask him advice in major decisions or deadlines? Hardly ever. Prayer is one of my greatest weaknesses. My communication with God suffers daily. Then, of course, I am annoyed and frustrated when an angel blocks my way to my goal, and I just whip myself into a fury attempting to continue, just like Balaam and his donkey. Yet all along God was trying to tell me, "Only do what I tell you". 

By no means do I believe in the humanistic philosophy that godly intervention frequently occurs, but if we listened more, do you think we would notice it more? Perhaps the frustration of life would be more peaceful and we'd have a reason to set forward in our decisions with more joy from God. Simply asking God is enough to acknowledge his approval is needed. 

It was strange for me to note that after Balaam's donkey incident, he did indeed predict the success of the Israelites to Balak (not the curse of them, which Balak had desired), but not long afterward, the Israelites swept in and killed the diviner. Although he had been the mouthpiece of God for a brief time, he was still an image of rebellion. Not only did he express it through the donkey story of stubbornness, he had chosen a career (sorcery) which he surely knew was against God's commands, if he had known God intimately at all. Our stubbornness to go our own way indeed shows a heart at the core that is rebellious, not humble and teachable. Our choices should be to call upon God before an angel blocks our way.

Peace, Be Still

The weeks of insanity never seem to end in my world. Stiff backs, sore feet, and sick days become as universal a constant as does completing assignments and trying to squeeze in time for cleaning my room (in a constant state of ineffective disorganization after several days away). Finally I plunked down this evening to catch up on some much needed study, exhausted from another long weekend at work.

The passage that stuck out to me the most was Mark 4: 37-40 (NKJV). Christ was heading to the other side of a lake after a long day of preaching, when death seemed to loom at the disciples' doorsteps (or, more accurately, at the stern of their ship).

"And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat the boar, so that it was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" Then he arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But he said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?""

I was thinking all day at work how busy I am. I never have a chance to have a full Sabbath rest, and prayer has definitely been put on the back burner. Part of it is because I am afraid of failure. Will I have enough money to pay back loans? Will I be able to finish school, let alone this semester with good grades? Will I get such and such assignment done? A lot of my life revolves around a fear of failure from the perfection I strive for, and in that fear, I forget about God.

A friend of mine told me recently that I shouldn't be so anxious about my school and work. "You know yourself by now that you will do your best to complete it," she advised, "So don't worry." I could take the same advice in saying, I know God well enough by now that he will provide enough to complete it. When the storms of life crash in, and we're full of fear and trembling that it just won't calm down, God gazes into our eyes and whispers, "Peace, be still." It is there in his presence we are no longer meant to fear the crisis of this life.

The Sober Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice. It seems like an odd way to discuss a Biblical life, but it was interesting to me to see a modern author’s take on what moral issues the characters from Jane Austen’s famous novels were able to use in their fictional stories. Apparently, according to the author, Austen’s characters are able to navigate relationships and decisions with a sort of pseudo  religiosity, without all the bells and whistles of Scripture.

To me, though, the reality of Austen’s good characters resonate the Christian upbringing Austen had herself. Without a moral backbone, things like purity, respect and kindness to others, and even propriety and thoughtfulness jump out the secular window. One of the main issues the author talked about was the steadiness of Austen’s characters; may we say, the maturity of Austen’s characters? They act like adults in their relationships and decisions. There is no name calling, cat calling, berating or belittling. Instead, humbled by circumstances and corrected by peers and elders alike, the “good” characters so revered in Austen’s writings come out in the end with more moral fiber than ever.

There is the same sort of steadiness, daresay, seriousness, of pursuing temperate character in Scripture. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,” Prov. 17:27 reminds us, “and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs is scattered with a call towards silence instead of speaking; it is a fool who blabs and bickers, whereas in this modern day society of cellphones and Facebook, all gossip is fair game. The more talk, the merrier. It is interesting to note that the very behavior the world condemns as introverted and unsociable, the Bible commends as wise.

Sobriety and humility continue to exhibit themselves in the way we live our lives as adults, growing maturely in the words of God. In Romans 12:3, Paul advises, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” Our attitudes about ourselves and our behaviors should not be flippant, but considerate and full of sobriety. It is not prudish, but prudent.

It is with some frustration that the author of Hebrews reminds his recipients that they are still children, clinging to elementary teachings of the Word; indeed, not soberly prepared at all. He echoes 1 Cor. 3: 1-3 (“Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you no worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?”) in which Paul struggles to place the believers under his care into more mature and sober thinking. For the author of Hebrews, maturity equates with a search for righteousness. Otherwise, we drink milk and maintain our childish ways to the world.

“We have much to say about this [the elementary teachings of Jesus as High Priest], but it is hard to say because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” (Heb. 5:11-14)

Today in high schools everywhere, the trend is for the loudest mouth to get the most popularity, and it is the angry manager who wrathfully proceeds over an entire company. Yet in Scripture, the sober-minded are rewarded with a closer pathway in conjunction with righteousness, a higher character, and a more noble calling towards others in our life. How much do we listen and humbly (soberly) make our choices in our response, whether it is through silence or speech?

Filled to the Measure

I was reading a book recently by Dr. Deborah Newman entitled, "Comfortable in Your Own Skin". The book primarily focuses on exposing your past feelings and opinions about yourself from experiences in childhood and beyond, and how it shapes your view of who God made you to be. Mostly, her opinions seem to revolve primarily on Psalm139:13-16, in which David marvels at his personal worth in God's eyes.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

David prefaces this portion of the Psalm talking about how he cannot flee from the God who created him. God will not abandon the work he placed on earth, nor will he allow it to depart his sight, because he has ordained a plan for it, as he has for all of the things he created. 

I loved the quote Dr. Newman used from George MacDonald: "I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest and most precious thing in all thinking."

Those who have struggled with depression can tell you that the last thing on earth they feel like is a "precious thing". They feel lost in darkness, where beauty and joy no longer reign; yet in David's simple Psalm, he cries out to a God in that same darkness. "Where can I go from your Spirit?" He asks, "Where can I flee from your presence?" (Psalm 139:7)

 In speaking to the church in Ephesus, Paul remembers that limitless love. In Ephesians 3:17-19 he declares, "I pray that you [the believers in Ephesus], being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." He recognizes again the God that surpasses the darkness in order to take to his heart the created works, giving them fullness in his very self, in his own glory.

It is with adoration and relief that we, too, can look up and know we are worthy, that through the darkness we cannot "flee" from his presence, but that he has predestined us to be filled with all of the fullness of himself and the worth he has granted us as his created works. 

His Inexpressible Joy

I am a day late writing this post because of a weekend away. However, it was through that Sabbath day listening to a sermon preached on the supremacy and Lordship of Christ that brought me to the thoughts I'm writing here today.

The preacher talked extensively about how our lives should be a reflection of Christ, not simply "in our hearts", but in our actions. Although I've heard those words oft repeated to me growing up, I was brought to a different perspective on it when I read a verse he cited about the issue in 1 Peter 1:8-9. "Though you have not seen [Christ], you love him: and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Often when we think of our salvation, we think of ourselves and how we are supposed to do XYZ in order to accomplish this task---this great task of seeking approval and acceptance from God for salvation. We do our actions, pay our tithes, and believe in him. It is me, me, me, when it comes to our endpoint, and so we become consumed with action, and then eventually wither because we are tired of it being our "me" effort in order to work towards true repentance. So, we reserve it back to our hearts, and only walk through the motions.

The beauty of f 1 Peter 1, though, is that it is all about him. We RECEIVE. We LOVE him. It is a GLORIOUS action, full of JOY that is INEXPRESSIBLE. That is what makes it beyond circumstantial actions (which we will eventually grow tired of expressing) into the Lordship of a God who conquers the works-based religion. Eph. 2: 4-10 best describes it by saying,

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,  in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Grace. Love. It is this which urges us onward to willingly be God's handiwork with inexpressible joy and unwavering faith that our strength is not our own, but comes from the open heart of our Lord.

Mind of God, Heart of God

The previous week was a long one for me. Between emotional upsets with close family and friends, the busyness of work and school, and thoughts that seemed to spiral into personal regrets, by today, the Sabbath day, I felt exhausted. I wandered out to a lone pond wondering if the portent image of seeing several black crows and cloudy skies meant something ill was approaching. Yet my main thoughts revolved around my circumstances, not my God. He had been mainly lost in what I felt was more important: the tasks and people of the week.

In Matthew 16:21-23, Jesus was reminding his disciples of his impending death. The miracles he had performed, the people he had influenced, and the ministry he had lead on earth were all important aspects of why God had sent him to earth, but the end result was not events and work, but portraying entirely (and finally) the glory of God through his sacrifice on the cross. Peter, distressed at Jesus' talk of death, questioned Jesus leaving behind the "importance" of wordly commitments in favor of death, but Jesus knew his long-lasting perspective was clearer than Peter's confusion. Adamantly, he declared to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an offense to me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of man"(Matt. 16:23).

The verse stood out to me significantly. Christ still accomplished his purposes on earth. He was always faithful to his ministry, always attentive to his people, and always persevering in his actions, yet his viewpoint sought God and looked beyond the temporary to the eternal. He drew away into the recesses of God's heart while accomplishing the tasks set about in God's mind.

Just as Christ modeled God's mind, the men and women who went before him echoed and personified himself and his Father. I am reminded most of Hebrews 11 and it's "Hall of Faith", especially the passage in Hebrews 11:13-16, as it highlights the eternal perspective of the people of God:

 "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

What does it mean to live with an eternal perspective? It means to pray---daily. It means to read his word---daily. It means to think of his decrees and worship him in the small things---daily. It means sometimes reminding oneself to forget about the brevity of this present day in the beauty of his forever.

The Face Off of Trinitarian Vs. Unitarian

I was in a discussion with a good friend of mine this week who is a Mormon, and she pointed out that she personally believes that Jesus was not fully God and fully man---that he has aspects of God, which made him perfect enough to redeem us as humans, but that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all separate beings. The 'egg concept' (God as the shell, Christ as the yolk, the Holy Spirit as the white) I had been taught growing up as the Trinity being 3 in 1 seemed to float around in my already befuddled head as I tried to grasp this Unitarian concept.

Although Mormons wouldn't associate with the Unitarian church in any way, shape, or form, Unitarians have a similar idea. I found this the weird way by googling information about the Trinity. I was actually shocked to hear Bible believing Christians disbelieving Jesus' divinity! To me, it has always been essential that Christ was fully God, because to view him as anything less would not only seem blasphemous to me, it would seem as if his sacrifice was nullified by his only half shrug at divinity.

I did some research of my own to see what Scripture said about the issue. One of my favorite verses I found was 1 John 5:7 (KJV): "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word [which, when referenced to John 1, is Jesus], and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one."

Colossions 2: 9- 10 (KJV) also states, "For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form...", supporting  following verses in Col. 1:15-20. Christ himself declares, "I and the Father are one" (John 10:29-30).

These were just a few verses I used for my Trinitarian point of view.

My prayer as I talk to my Mormon friend, and all other religious people I know, is that I don't forget they are intelligent people who have reasons and culture of their own to believe what they feel is correct. Although I disagree, I need to find my own reasons to support that disagreement and back up my points. I remember doing this once about a year prior when a friend was protesting at the church's lack of acceptance of people with homosexuality. A homosexual minister made a Youtube video crying foul play on certain verses and their Hebrew context, but when I looked the same verses up, it became clear to me he was botching them to suit his own purposes for his decision to sin. The same goes for other religious viewpoints. Even if it is not sin, is it preventing this person from grasping the true nature of God? Is it telling them a Gospel message that could be flawed? If so, the glory and wisdom of God is being maligned, and we as Christians are called to search and find the precious treasure of truth.

Father, Discipline Me

I was talking to a good friend the other day about if it is a wise idea to save up funds in order to help your child go to college debt-free. My thought process concerning it was that children should have to work themselves to gain the funds--and incentives---to pay for their own degree. Their hard work and discipline, though not pleasant at the time, would pay off with a good career and a solid foundation, teaching them certain financial responsibilities and mature decisions without daddy or mommy footing the bill for them to get there. Even though me and my friend disagreed in the end about my opinion, it made me think about how God views our process of perseverance in the Christian walk.

Hebrews 12: 4-13, Paul discusses how God views are journey towards holiness, the shedding of sin in our life through the production of his discipline:
"In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 

 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,”so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

 Even though our discipline as Christians is not the material gains of this world, God places circumstances in our life so that we, the sons and daughters of a perfect Father, can gain steps toward abolishing sin: having hope in trying times, working in a difficult job in order to have joy in him, and being rebuked for an anger issue by a Christian brother or sister. Even though we can feel beat down, discouraged, weary, and just plain annoyed, God is putting us in the time out chair to give us an understanding of how to deal with life's eventual ups and downs with holiness instead of the sinful nature. 

I've always loved the verse in Prov. 24:10 because it so greatly represents the man or woman who has forgotten God's presence and his NEED to discipline through hard work and difficulties, "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"

God, like the loving Father he is, knows that discipline is necessary for the production of new fruit. He prunes the dead branches to make room for the blooms.

Mistress of His Fate

What would you say if you found out you were a queen? How would you treat the king? More than likely, with knowledge of your command. You would suddenly have more influence, and if you were a wise queen, you would wield that influence on your husband for the advantage of the kingdom: and perhaps yourself.

As I started a new year with my NKJV version Bible, I decided to highlight all of the mentions God made of women. I wanted to see how much they pervade the Bible, what women were positive examples, and which were negative; I even wanted to see how much God used females for his purpose. Did you know that the dove God sent out from the ark after the Flood was a female? She carried the message of wet or dry land back from either the olive branch or her absence. God could have portrayed her as a male dove, but it seemed unusual he decided on a female.

Obviously, God's mention of females in the Bible doesn't just associate with doves. Some of women's greatest mentions are associated with their powerful influence over some very significant men. The Genesis account of Eve offering the tempting fruit to Adam---and his response to almost automatically accept it---seems like the most startling (Gen. 3), but as Genesis continues, women continue to play a huge role of influence. The daughters of men influence angels to come to earth to be with them (Gen. 6:1-2), and even minor characters like Lamech had something to admit to his wives (Adah and Zillah) that he felt were close enough confidantes and people of influence: the murder of a man (Gen.4: 23-24). Before Sarai became the mother of nations as "Sarah", she held sway not only over Egyptian kings who desired her for her beauty, but also over her husband to a great extent. Abram had already heard that God would bless him through Sarai's children, but Sarai seemed to overpower even God's voice in Abram's head by telling Abram to take Hagar, her maidservant, as his wife and bear a child with her. Abram, like his distant relative Adam, obeyed his wife's influential voice (Gen. 16).

In 1 Peter, even though Peter is discussing women with non-Christian husbands, he seems to echo well this knowledge that women affect the men they are with.

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives" (1 Peter 3:1-2).

What has been most fascinating to me in this verse is recalling the negative influence of women in Genesis and yet the ability and power we have as positive influences! Whether it is a husband, brother, friend, or father, the reverence of our lives and the way we treat men can greatly effect their decisions for or against the kingdom of God.

Lost Things

I've been losing things a lot lately. A flash drive. My phone going dead on me for a solid week. One of my friends. An earring here, another earring there. A bunch of files from an old computer. A story I wanted to read. I'm normally such an organized person, losing anything used to drive me insane until I found that object again. I would literally stomp around my room (or wherever I happened to be), getting irritated at everyone around me and even crying if I couldn't find the object I was missing. "It's gone forever!" I'd bewail, allowing my human sinful nature to get a hold of me as I lashed out at innocent bystanders.

I think God knows when it's time to give his children a lesson. He chose to target the very things I hold precious---like my pair of favorite feather earrings, and the zipper on my favorite leather jacket not working so I couldn't use it. The more things I unintentionally the lost, the more I began to find it somewhat odd, even humorous, that God kept tossing those things off my materialistic radar and making me more patient. Now, when I lose something, like yesterday when I lost (yet another) earring, I looked around for it for a few minutes and then just shrugged it off. God really knows me well; he was disciplining me even in small things.

The verse that popped into my head when I was thinking over this post was Luke 12, Christ's parable of the rich fool:
    "The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain.And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’“This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God" (v. 13-21).

In our lives, we may not intentionally think this selfishly---we are generous people, prone to give rather than get, tithe rather than take---but we build our own barns by focusing on the gadgets, gizmos, clothing, and objects that are only temporary comforts here on earth. When we think of the larger picture, if we lose something, we know longer think of it as so severe: it is our training for looking first to the Giver before going wild at the loss of the gift. Many people and things will pass through our lives, but we shouldn't mourn over their monetary value. We should thank God for having them, and then express in our lives a better thought process of patience when we do have to let them go.

My favorite part of Luke 12 is the preceding verse to the parable. A quibbling sibling tells Jesus that his brother won't divide an inheritance with him, and Jesus calmly replies, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions" (v.15). Even if it is not something as great as an inheritance, we are not meant to focus on the abundance or quality of our possessions, but the richness and life of glorifying God (v. 21). What is our mindset with our material blessings? Where do we find our worth and our treasure store? 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt. 6: 19-21).

Models of Christ

I was recently watching a show about America's top runway models, when I happened upon 1 and 2  Peter in my personal Bible study. In shows with models, the most important thing is maintaining beauty, while personal moral lives seem cast aside for gaining money and fame on the road to a high profile career. Although modeling is an extreme example of women pursuing beauty or career instead of character, even if we as women are not models, we can play the same game in our lives with our dissatisfaction for our looks and the way we forget what God is truly looking for.

In 1 Peter 3: 3-4, Peter points out: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

In Peter's time period, wealthy women were following the Gospel message, but were still following the ways of the world. Their extravagant plaited, knotted, and braided hair styles often took hours to complete, with weaving in of pearls in strands of hair in order to present themselves as flashy; the same went for their gold jewelry and rare clothes: everything pointed to the abundance of their possessions and their focus on something other than God. Yet God calls for us as women to dig past these temporal surface layers of beauty and cultivate the beauty of our inner person in order to truly emulate him.

I like how the KJV translates verse 4; instead of calling it 'your inner self', this version uses the term, 'the hidden man of the heart'. The people of this world who do not know our Savior falsely think that the best way to succeed TODAY is to become beautiful externally. The thought is tempting and even addictive. I know I struggle with this daily, every time I look at pictures of myself, other women, or flip through magazines of airbrushed models. Yet 2 Peter 3:17 paints a different picture of these 'false prophets' of today, with their appearance of godliness but their rashness of truth (2 Tim. 3:1-5):

"They promise [the weak-willed] freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved."

Have you ever seen a model enslaved by an eating disorder, unable to break free from the sad bondage of their illness and deprecating self image? Perhaps even less extreme, have you ever felt that very bondage yourself of needing affirming messages and 'likes' from friends before being content that you look okay? We seek it by posting new pictures, wearing new clothing, telling others we look terrible without make-up, and attaching ourselves in addiction to fashion shows.

God, instead, sees the highest form of beauty as the woman who turns her eyes to his glory and finds herself lost in his creation and holiness, gently submitting to others in servanthood and the meekness of the 'hidden man of the heart'.

Pepsi Lessons

The other day, I attended a movie premiere and brought with me a Pepsi (my drink of choice). During the evening, I ate a lot of the gummy candy I'd brought along, but the Pepsi was mostly forgotten. By the end of the evening, my loyal 16 ounces were hardly consumed. When I headed home, I put the Pepsi down on my desk and forgot about it.
A few days later I was faithfully cleaning my room when I found the Pepsi again. I was almost certain the carbonation would have gone out entirely, since I hadn't put it in the fridge. However, when I took a swig to try out my theory, the Pepsi was surprisingly fresh, fizzy, even cool from my room! Without knowing, I had screwed the cap on well enough a couple of days before to maintain the carbonation.
The thought of this Pepsi reminded me of Hebrews 2.
"Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today", that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end."
I am, as a believer, like the Pepsi. If I maintain my 'carbonation'---my connection to Christ---I will be fresh, like 'streams of living water' to those in the deserts of this world. However, if I go flat, hardened by sin, I will end up being very unproductive for the Gospel I originally held to in professing Christ as my Lord. My brothers and sisters in Christ are like the person who tightens my 'cap' again to maintain my obedience and freshness in God; without them as well, I would become flat.
The same could be said for us encouraging our fellow brothers and sisters. What can we do to be there for them? Do we pray for them, but also tell them we have been praying? Do we offer them a listening ear? Do we send them an uplifting message? Write them a letter? Give them a gift? We as brothers and sisters in Christ are called to be an example to the world of how Christ has treated us; by supporting one another and keeping their freshness for the Lord's work in their life, even if that calling is not like our own.

Smiley Morning Changes Its Tune!

I have a dear friend I have never met. Why, do you ask, is he a dear friend? Because he is full of the humility and grace of Christ, in passionate pursuit of him by attempting to integrate Christ's Word into his personal life.
Lately I have been convicted, especially from reading this young man's blog and another Jewish young woman's blog, to begin my own journey in speaking about the things that Christ has brought me. I intend on being regular with my commitment to this by using Smiley Morning to share (perhaps every Sunday) the things I have learned from Scripture. My goal in this is not to encourage comment participation, excessive blog response or attention, or even my own peace of mind, but to grow consistently in Scripture. Although Scripture memorization is important to me, I have found that reflecting (teaching) on Scripture, and writing it down over and over again has been most helpful and productive to me in the long run for my knowledge of Scripture. I wish to do this on Smiley Morning: reflecting on a particular Scripture that stuck with me, either due to its relevance in my life or what it could mean.
I am a busy college student consumed with academics, so as the spring semester starts in January I desire to have more dedication to this blog in order to grow in the Lord and his mighty words. I will attempt not to neglect my weekly duty on this blog unless a weekend getaway calls me elsewhere, or severe circumstances permit me otherwise. If I can submit my mind to the useless mental propensities of Facebook, why can't I do the same with a more edifying purpose as an end result?
I look forward to beginning this journey. My first installment should be this weekend. Until then, I will depart!

Monks and Nuns: Biblical Ways of Being Single?

I've had humorous discussions before with my sisters and mother about starting a nunnery after the lack of quality guys in my area (which, I admit, never came to fruition after both my sisters got engaged/married)---but in all serious, I have thought over the concept of women and men dedicating their lives wholly to God.

I am not a Catholic, so it would be impossible theologically for me to accept all of the views of Catholicism if I ever even considered the process of becoming a nun, but I'm curious as to what your position about nuns and monks is.

As some of you will reiterate, I'm sure, the apostle Paul understood that God called most of us to marry (those with the physical desire to do so) in order to avoid immorality, while he called others to celibacy. ("Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."1 Cor. 7:8-9). This echoes Christ's statement in Matthew 19: 12 as he discusses marriage with the Pharisees, where he states, "...there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven."

Paul's passage in accordance with Christ's words seem to indicate to me that chosen lifetime singleness should only be a step made when a man or woman is able to completely cut themselves off from physical (passionate) desire for a spouse. All other men and women, it would seem, who cannot entirely suppress such a desire entirely (which seems to be the majority of the population, since God created us with that innately) are not 'called to be eunuchs'.

There are certainly some very admirable Catholic monks and nuns (Mother Theresa and Brother Lawrence, as some of many numerous examples) who have built legacies and saved thousands through their dedication to God as single people. However, although some of these felt that personally their ministry would be more effective through singleness, and perhaps considered themselves 'eunuchs', there is also the controversial Scripture in 1 Timothy which disagrees with the Catholic church's institutionalism of singles in ministry (nuns and monks).

1 Timothy 4:1-5 states, "The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer."

In some sense, the Catholic church appears to be doing just that: forbidding men and women to marry in order to serve God in supposedly more righteousness and purity. However, as I mentioned earlier, I think only certain men and women are called to a life of singleness, while others would serve God more appropriately (and in more holiness) by being married. To pin such a burden of singleness on hundreds of men and women whose deepest desire is to serve God---but who must give up a natural desire they were not meant to simply because they believe they would serve God better--appears inaccurate to me.

So,

Do you consider monks and nuns as correct biblical interpretations of singleness?

If so, what Scripture or knowledge do you consider coincides with your view?

One of the ways I thought of improving happiness besides positivity is treating my health correctly. Things I've gleaned over the years have increased my knowledge of general health---including taking more control over my eating habits and exercising.

Some of the ways I'm looking to improve my general health is eating less meat (except for lean meats, like grilled chicken and turkey) and also being able to run a mile without stopping. Over the next four weeks, I'll be running and cross training on run-rest days to improve my stamina.

I feel kind of like a health nut, but really all I'm doing is lessening the amount of time I'm spending sedentary (except for schoolwork) and making some meal changes.

Here's to accomplishing some goals and getting started over spring break!

Once Saved, Always Saved?

My personal opinions about the 'once saved, always saved' debate are included below from a recent Facebook argument.

"I agree that a person can be saved no matter what things are happening around them, but on the other hand, it's also true that if you don't have very strong Scriptural backing or an understanding of God's truths, rather than the world's, it can lead you down false paths, and ultimately, break the faith you had. The Holy Spirit is there to guide us, but when Christians deliberately choose to ignore Him either purposefully or with gradual acceptance of the world's word, then it can destroy the previous communion you had with Christ or just deplete your trust in Scripture. So I wouldn't say having the Holy Spirit guarantees you from falling away, especially if you choose to start ignoring Him (that's why God continually tells us in the NT to be on our guard against Satan and things which can damage our faith---1 Cor. 16:13, 1 Peter 5:8-9)..."

"I think we basically agree with one another about the grace of Christ, the importance of Scripture, and how near we are to God, but I suppose the question I was addressing was 'once your saved your saved'. I don't agree with that concept, because there are instances in the Bible when a Christian (with the Holy Spirit) fell away, such as Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:3 indicates they lied to the Holy Spirit within him). Passages like Heb. 6:4-6 also make the indication that there can be those who 'share' in the Holy Spirit but ultimately reject Christ. In Rev. 3:1-6, Christ speaks to the believers in Sardis about dying spiritually; only some will overcome and be written in the Book of Life. There are other passages about God commanding us to overcome the world (through our lifetime of faith) and only THEN will we be written in the Book of Life (Rev. 3:21). Yes, I agree with grace and a lifetime of learned holiness; but I do not agree with being saved your entire lifetime. Only God can determine someone's heart at their death, but if they were a Christian and deliberately chose to reject Christ, I agree with Heb. 6:4-6...."

Fellow FBooker: "Hebrews 10:14, John 10:27-30, John 6:39-40, John 17:12, Rom. 8:29-30, Jeremiah 32:40, 1 Pet. 1:3-5, Rom. 11:29 to start."

Me:"I'd like to briefly discuss some of the verses you provided. All of the New Testament verses do talk about God's promise for eternal salvation to those who have been saved. However, in each of these verses, there is no indication that we cannot willingly reject such things God gives us. As I said earlier, a gift can be provided (such as eternal salvation), but we do not have to accept or keep it. Hebrews 10:14: This verse in context signifies those who are currently being 'made holy'. If you are rejecting Christ, would you consider you are currently 'being made holy'? Thus this nullifies the 'perfect forever' portion.John 10:27-30 is also a very popular verse for once saved/always saved. However, notice the beginning of the verse: It says that the sheep FOLLOW Christ's voice. Thus, if you are actively following Christ, Christ promises nothing can snatch you away (this does not agree with if you abandoned him/did not follow him). John 6: 39-40 says that everyone who believes in Christ will be raised up. If you have rejected Christ and claim you do not believe in him, you no longer are seen as 'believing' in him and have lost that promise. John 17:12, in context, is Christ speaking about his disciples and Judas (the one doomed to destruction), not us as Christians. Romans 8:28-30 talks about those who LOVE Christ being predestined. If you say you are rejecting Christ and hate him, that is indicating that you were not predestined in the first place/or you rejected his calling. Jeremiah 32:40 is talking about the people of Israel in context, not Christians. 1 Pet. 1:3-5 discusses how through faith we are shielded, with an imperishable inheritance. If we reject Christ, obviously we are rejecting our faith in Christ as well; thus, we no longer have share in the inheritance. Rom. 11:29 says God's gifts and call are irrevocable---this implies that, consistent with God, he never changes his call and his purposes for us, but it provides no indication that you can reject that calling. It is only saying that the calling itself will never change. I would be confused why God, as a just God, would allow people in to inheritances, perfection, and heaven who actively chose to reject him later on in their life, even if they were Christians earlier on in life. Does that seem like justice to you?"

This link provides more about the issue: http://www.anointedlinks.com/once_saved.html

The stars were so spectacular tonight they made me want to cry.

How glorious the world is, even when it's sleeping.